One month old

Hi Jaydan, If you were born on your due date March 18th, you would be one month old today.....
I was checking my email today because I ordered some lil angel bears from Angel Whispers to donate to the hospital. We will always donate every little bit we can in your memory Jaydan. That is how you will live on forever in our world.I also donated to the Ride to conquer cancer benefiting the Alberta cancer foundation. But back to the email..... I came across one email ( I had about 500 emails) and it was from pampers subject, new born baby one month old today. And that is when I noticed the date. I am trying so hard to make the best of my life. My only focus is enjoying every second of my life with Tyler and your big sister Jordan. She looked at your picture the other day and said, I love you Jaydan. She makes me feel so much pride and joy. I must say having kids is the best decision a women can make.
Although I did shed a few tears when I realized the date tonight. I did realize how good our day was today, we went to the driving range and momma finally found my golf swing. I hit straight and one shot made it 200 yards. Pappa was so proud of me. Jordan had her little pink clubs out and was so focused and trying so hard I can't get over how talented Jordan is. She is so good at everything she does, including golfing. We came home and went to the field and tried to fly a kite. We laughed so hard cuz our kite would not fly high, and when it did for five seconds it took a nose dive to the ground. Then we walked home watched The Princess and the Frog for the 20th time. Best Disney movie EVER. And then we played Chutes & Ladders ( I won) hehe It was a great family day. We are aiming to have these kinda family days everyday. Sometimes momma is so sad it hurts to smile. Then I realize how close you have brought us together baby Jaydan. You have changed me forever, made our little family the closest we have ever been. Why did we have to lose you to realize how important the little things are. So unfair. I just want you to know how much I think of you, how perfect it would be to have you in my arms right now. It just doesn't make sense. All I know is I am not wasting a second of my life. I will always try so hard to smile for you Jaydan. Your big sister makes me smile every time I look at her. I will smile every time I think of you.
Auntie Kelly sent me an email, it read every time we find a penny on the ground, think of it as if our Angel ^Baby Jaydan^ sent it down from heaven cuz he is thinking of us. And then I found a penny on our front lawn. Any little thing that Will bring us comfort. Nothing will compare to having you in my arms but all these little things, your shining star, our display of you, my little, (I mean long notes)will have to do for now until I get the hold you again one day when we meet up in the place called heaven where we will sleep in each others arms in peace forever.
Catch my warm kisses Baby Jaydan
PS) we are going to try and make another baby soon, please lord bless us with more beautiful babies and add more and more love to our family.
I miss u with all my heart
To end our day we all hugged and told each other what we love most about each other:
Jordan loves when daddy gives her flowers
Jordan loves when momma kisses her
We all love how close Jaydan has brought us
We love everything about Jordan